did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize