I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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