The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
