i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
