You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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