Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
