when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i now understand why vodka
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
