I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
