GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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