Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
