Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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