she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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