how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
