Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
