My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize