you would pick up someone in the library
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
