Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
