So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
