Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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