saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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