your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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