a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize