just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
