where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
