ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
