I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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