But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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