remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
