no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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