Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
please don't ironically join a cult
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