haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
