It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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