just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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