bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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