New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
