am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
