quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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