No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
