Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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