think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Boobs are out for the taking
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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