i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
