the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
