did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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