just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize