direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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