Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
