you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
