I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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