at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
