Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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