remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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