Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just want to make out with him forever
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
