Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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