I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
